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Luiza B. Campos's avatar

It's kind of normal to feel this way. Many of us go through quarter-life-crises.

I guess a good way of moving past it is talking to and following older people, at least you will get over this idea of needing to be successful at 25. Who is successful at 25? No one, really.

In the same note, I think it's impossible to be a has-been at 24. That's just the beginning of a career.

And sorry to read about your illness and being dismissed by it. I also have pretty awful cramps and have never been diagnosed. It's been almost 20 years of telling doctors I'm in pain with not much avail. I think I have endometriosis, but who knows. There's no cure anyway.

Finally, I would say that blocks have a lot to do with wanting to be perfect. Try doing things that will not be published or that you feel like you can exercise your creativity without having a perfect product in the end to show to someone. Maybe drawing, knitting, colouring, whatever.

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anushka dakshit's avatar

so beautiful and heartbreaking. you’re an absolutely amazing writer and the way this essay articulated your experience so succinctly in emotion is admirable!! thank you for writing this <3

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Zee's avatar

This is a beautiful piece and I felt every word. I'm currently going through the same thing, I've been in my writer’s block since late 2020 and I often tell myself that I should just give up and that writing is just another failed childhood hobby. Although it sucks it's nice to know I'm not alone.

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mary wallace's avatar

Beautiful words as always Haaniyah! I’ve been struggling with writer’s block lately too, especially with my novel but also with my own freelancing. I think about quitting every day because I feel incredibly guilty that I am lucky enough to have all this time to work on my writing, both creative and freelancing, yet I sit and do nothing (aka worry and doom scroll). It’s nice to know that someone else out there is going through a similar thing but I wish you the breakthrough you deserve 💜 lately I’ve tried writing as if no one will see it and it’s been helping!

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Kamsy Anyachebelu's avatar

Brilliant brilliant writing! It's my first time reading your work Haaniyah and it's uncannily relatable and unbelievably good.

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N/A's avatar

extremely familiar to the feelings i had at 24/25 and continue to have as i turn 30... grateful for the fact you've kept pushing 🙏🏾

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Ezinne Akam's avatar

Thank you, Haaniyah, for sharing this. Every line was deeply relatable. I am currently in the same boat with PCOS and Endometrial Hyperplasia which kicked off early this year.

I have experienced bleeding lasting up to 50 days and some of those days I was too weak to even make food to eat. I stand in the kitchen for longer than 5 minutes and I’m getting super dizzy. It is an expensive illness to treat.

Also need loads of support, but this time of life I don’t have friends or family at my beck and call. I am an intuitive person who prefers to share sensitive details about my health to people who I sense actually care. And a lot of the people around me have been those who have directly benefited from my selflessness, skills, and kindness.

So this season, I have heavily withdrew and been focusing on my health and wellbeing. I also noticed how intertwined writers block is to some PCOS symptoms eg brain fog. This has enabled me to extend grace to myself. I have found guided meditations and affirmations to be very helpful to keeping my vibration high despite what is going on around and inside me.

I am currently writing a novella and have had to scrap and rewrite multiple times when I feel like what I have been writing does not align to the main theme of the story I want to tell, and this has been the frustrating part.

But I continue to write. I continue to care for myself. And I continue to hope. We are stronger than whatever we might face. Would love to know how you are doing now. Love and light. 💡🫶🏻

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